Okay, all hands on deck for this news. The captain is setting a new course. Or rather, captains plural. I am now scheduled for a consultation with the WM guru at Dana-Farber at Thanksgiving time, when I go to Boston to visit Akemi. My USC doctor already is contact with him and they have already conferred about my status.
They both feel I need more chemo at this time, and are changing drugs. The schedule will be two treatments a week for two weeks and one week off, through January at least, and potentially four more months after that.
Before you all start asking me what does this mean, how will I feel, what do I need, what am I going to do about work to which I’ve just returned. . .I simply don’t know. All I know is that I mustered great focus and called upon a reservoir of stamina and energy to get through one intense month, and the thought of essentially constant chemo for months makes me just want to pull a Christopher Cross. You know, “And if the wind is right, you can sail away and find tranquility.”
“There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.”
— Willa Cather
P.S. Akemi at the helm of “The Heritage,” August 16, 2010, Penobscot Bay, Maine
Hang in there lady--we're thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteOne thing I have definitely learned this year is that I get really overwhelmed when I start thinking about a big trial occurring over an extended period. Like Lee being gone for 7 more weeks before the end of this year...if I think of it that way I can feel my blood pressure go up and I start to lose peripheral vision.
ReplyDeleteBUT if I think about just getting through today, I can face the trial with some measure of equanimity. "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof" is, I think, Jesus's way of telling us all to chill out. Stop stressing. Deal with life as it unfolds.
Easier said than done, I know, but I think this year has taught me just how much my perspective on the trial controls my ability to get through it. I know that "months of chemo" sounds horrible. But you won't really know until you get there and do it one day at a time.
And we will be here with you, one day at a time. For as long as it takes.