Sunday, October 17, 2010

Sunday, October 17, 2010

About two years into my position with the Urban Land Institute, we were on a roll. The investment of start-up effort that the ULI leaders here in LA and I had made was beginning to really pay off, as we were having a number of successes to show for our hard work. Because our LA operations were meant to be a template for future ULI business operations, I felt a certain responsibility, even pressure, to report out our successes, to keep the investment of good will and capital justified and coming in at that critical stage of our entrepreneurial venture.

I quickly reached the classic time management question: do I take time away from getting the work done to tell people about what we were doing, or do I just stay focused on getting the work done and worry about telling people about it later? I recognize that, as is the case with many trade-offs in life, the best answer is do as much of both as possible.

I’m afraid I’ve worried some of you because I haven’t posted anything for a week and a half. Two reasons account for my “blog silence.” First, physically I’m doing much better. The more distance I get from the September chemo, the better I feel. This past week I was able to ratchet back up to almost full-time work and to throw some forward momentum into the rest of my life before the next chemo starts next Tuesday. I even made it to the gym one night.

But my reality is, when I run out of steam, it is a full-engine stop. The price I pay for undertaking a “normal” life outside the home is to come home and pretty much collapse into bed. So I confess a redux of my ULI dilemma – I’ve been living life instead of writing about it, when I haven’t had the energy to do both.

The second reason I haven’t blogged lately is because I am still coming to grips with the notion that I can feel better, but I am still “sick.” The cancer has not left me, and as one friend put it not long ago, this remains a game-changer. Unless and until they find a cure, I live with this, no matter how I feel. I haven’t had much else to say about this, my other sober reality.

But this weekend actually has been one filled with many special experiences which have raised my spirits. I want to thank Howard and Luana. I want to say how much I love, appreciate, and admire Ray and Marilyn, Steve and Jane, Kelly and Janice. I want to throw my arms around Ron and Sue and let them know how much I love them, too, and pledge to them my 110% support. I was so happy to visit with David and Karen, and feel their love and support in person. They all know the reasons why.

As Ron said today, the Lord’s vision for us is much broader than we can imagine for ourselves. It was good to be reminded of that, because as I said to Randy and Ladell, I don’t like being “sick.” I’m not comfortable being a consumer of, instead of a contributor of, service. As soon as I figure out what the larger purpose is supposed to be of this experience, I promise you I will take the time to report it out. And if you get the inspiration for me, please feel free to clue me in.

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